Ground the past

Artist reflection

Sometimes the "old" times are haunting us. An image of an angry face, a voice speaking toxic words, or simply a sad ghost refusing to move forward.

They are "old" for a reason. I can't figure out the reason. The reasons burned me out.

In the ashes, I crawl out, struggling to lift a finger. Slowly, one finger, two fingers, three fingers. I got the hand, and then another hand.

I can touch the old words. They are so sticky.

I don't want to waste energy figuring out whose voice it is. I only know it is not mine. The current me will never accept those words. The current me will only push them away.

And I did.

"Ah, it is a relief to have them out. Out of the "old" times, framed in the "old" canvas."

And I am still doing it.

"Ah, it will be a relief to have them out. Out of the new "old" times, framed in the semi "old" canvas."

This is a forever non-finished project.

Because I know,

Past always catch me.

(Written by Camellia Xueyi from her human heart.)