Thorn

Artist reflection

I am a feminist, and I am angry.

On this handmade Xiangyunsha Hanfu, I painted the Chinese character 刺—thorn, prick, something that pierces—like a cactus.

It is literal. It is

Women who have a voice, who refuse, who confront, who become angry, are easily labelled as difficult, aggressive, sharp, or “spiky.” I am standing in front of those labels, I can't remove them, I need face them and I face them. If the result of having my own values, defending my boundaries is being framed as spiky, then be it!

Face is, nowadays, there is a strange inequality in how we read anger.

When a man is wrongly judged and becomes angry, people say: What they said about him must be wrong—otherwise, why would he be so angry?

When a woman is wrongly judged and becomes angry, the same anger is often used against her: What they said about her must be true—otherwise, why would she be so angry?

I am angry about this.

And I don't need, and I don't want explaining away that anger, making it softer, more reasonable, more acceptable, I am literally putting it on my clothes.

The clothes matter. I like clothes, I don't deny it. I am a women, I don't deny it.

The work is made on a handmade Hanfu, a contemporary garment connected to the long and changing traditions of Han Chinese dress. Hanfu is not one single historical silhouette; it encompasses many forms of clothing that developed across different periods of Chinese history.

I love wearing Hanfu partly because it does not require my body to be shaped and displayed in the way much contemporary women's clothing does. I want my body breath in the cloth. the cloth gives me a space.

The fabric is Xiangyunsha (香云纱), a traditional silk textile associated particularly with Shunde in Guangdong. Its distinctive dyeing and finishing process uses the juice of the plant Dioscorea cirrhosa (薯莨) together with iron-rich river mud, repeatedly worked, sun-dried, washed, and finished by hand. The traditional Xiangyunsha dyeing technique was included in China's national intangible cultural heritage list in 2008.

I love Xiangyunsha not only because of its history or beauty, but because it doesn't get dirty often, I don't need wash them everyday. I want clothing that gives me time and allows me to live.

So these choices are mine: my favourite way of dressing, my favourite fabric, my body, my handwriting, my anger.

And on it, I write 刺.

(Written by Camellia Xueyi from her human heart.)